As the day of my departure draws near, I notice my dream life intensifying. The dreams continue to inform me and aid me in answering the questions: What longing or wound calls me to embark on this pilgrimage? What is my intention? Why such an adventure?

In the dream, I jump in a taxi and suddenly realize we are near the street where I grew up. Excited, I ask the driver to take a left and we are driving along the street where the brook flows. I exclaim, “See that brook down there!? That’s where I spent the most magical times of my childhood!” I am so impressed by how lush and pristine it all looks. The water is flowing even more abundantly than I had remembered and the trees were bigger and greener and create a huge canopy over the road. I think how wonderful and surprising it is that this natural place of my childhood still exists — that is has not been destroyed by development. As we drive along there is water everywhere and it is as if we are driving in a river. I am excited to arrive soon at the house I grew up in and I wake up.

The dream was so vivid of those halcyon days of youth spent outside. I remember well the “big tree” I used to climb, the “glen” where water dripped down a little waterfall (I wonder now if that was real or a man-made fountain?) and the wilder places beyond our suburban yard. When I was eleven I was told we were moving to New York City and I remember crying for weeks when I heard the news. While I eventually adjusted and loved the city life, I am keenly aware that this rupture of my intimate relationship with the wild world at such a tender age is a wound I have spent much of my life trying to heal. This dream visited reminding me that I am still seeking expression of this connection, this deep love. Can pilgrimage, protest and walking contemplation heal me and, in the process, contribute to the healing of the world?

I was moved by a few things shared on our pilgrimage conference call. First, our Buddhist Priest fearless leader, Shodo Spring, will bring her walking staff. This staff is a symbol of the walk and will walk the entire route regardless of sections where Shodo or others may jump in the support bus. When this happens, one of the other walkers will take the staff. Second, in a discussion about who plans to walk and who plans to support “base camp,” one of our team members reminded us that this walk is a “collective prayer” and we must let go of any individual ego-driven attachments to exactly how many miles any one of us actually walks. This helps me hold my contribution as valuable even though I cannot walk the entire route. This quote from Arvol Looking Horse also gives me strength in my moments of doubt.

“Each of us is put here in this time and this place to personally decide the future of humankind. Did you think the Creator would create unnecessary people in a time of such terrible danger? Know that you yourself are essential to this World. Believe that! Understand both the blessing and the burden of that. You yourself are desperately needed to save the soul of this World. Did you think you were put here for something less?” ~ Chief Arvol Looking Horse

Exxon Mobil tar sands spill in Arkansas. May 2013.

Today I begin in earnest to prepare for my pipeline pilgrimage which begins with the Healing Walk at the Alberta Tar Sands on July 6. A friend sent me an article about the tar sands walk that awakened me to a fact I had somehow missed. Syncrude, the big company extracting the crude oil from the tar sands, is actually owned and operated by ExxonMobile. A quick google search revealed a torrent of distressing stories including a very recent Exxon tar sands spill in Arkansas. The more I look, the more sick I feel. Though I have been giving shares away since I inherited a bunch from my Dad, I still own almost 700 shares of ExxonMobile stock. Ugh. How can I, in good conscience, participate in this pilgrimage knowing I am benefiting from the company responsible for the destruction? What is the best, most effective, course of action? Is this all somehow related to the current health challenges I face within?  How can I personally clean up and come clean? This blog is my first step. Thanks for joining me.  Click here to read the article about the Healing Walk. Or click here to support the pilgrimage with your financial contribution.